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Howdy folks, welcome
to the CH review of the Last Comic Standing 2 tryouts. First of
all I would like to thank La Mott Jackson for 90% of the
pictures you're going to see on this page. "Chocolate
Thunder" is the man.
I am going to list
the comedian's names, give a very brief description of what they
did, then finish it off by rating them. I will use a standard
1-10 scale, with 1 being the worst & 10 being the best.
There are some
comedians whose name I don't know the proper spelling of. Next
to their last name, the obligatory (sp?) will appear. If you
know the proper spelling of any of the comic's names, please contact
me and I will fix it.
Each comedian was
given 3 minutes to perform. If they went over the 3rd minute,
their microphone would cut out. Talent Scouts Bob Read and Ross
Mark (who both sounded a little light in the loafers) sat right
across from the stage and decided who made the cut. NBC producer
Peter Engle was also in attendance.
All of the comedians
pre qualified earlier in the day during a private set with the
talent scouts. They were called back to the club to perform
their stuff in from of a live audience. I guess tonight's show
would be considered a New York City semifinals, as people who
advanced from the 21st & 22nd would make it to the NY finals
at Carolines.
 Al
Lubel
Hey Kramer from
Seinfeld called, and he wants his look, style &
delivery back. Al did have great floppy bosoms which
accentuated his lovely jewish afro. Sadly all I
remember from his act was his physical features. He
really didn't make much of an impression which isn't
good for the competition...
Rating:
4
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 Jessica
Kirson
Kirson has
been all over Comedy Central the past few months. The
Kathy Bates looking comedian has a loud & somewhat
annoying style to her. One of her bits involved
mimicking how you look when stoned people look at you.
She also did impressions of foreign children and how
polite & rude they can be at the same time. If you
like a young Rosie O'Donnell, you'll like Kirson.
Rating:
4
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 Jim
David
We have
all seen Jim David as a regular on Tough Crowd. The
openly homosexual comedian was surprisingly hilarious
as he received a raucous ovation at the end of his
set. He did a great bit about LIRR (local railroad
service) announcers which had everyone rolling. Very
solid performance from someone who I was expecting
nothing but gay hack jokes from.
Rating:
8
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 DC
Benny
DC started
out slow but quickly got the crowd going with his
homeless crack-addict tai chi joke. He also did a
great bit about being Jewish and how his German
shepherd always looks at him funny. Borderline cringe
style stuff that I don't think NBC would ever air.
Hilariously funny nonetheless.
Rating:
7
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 Rio
Rio is
right off the boat from Asia, complete with a thick
accent. His material was all about the Asian language.
He was taught Mother Goose rhymes when he was a kid,
and how it would screw him over when placed in sticky
situations. I guess you could call him another Dat
Phan, but he speaks with an accent instead of
mimicking one every 5 seconds.
Rating:
4
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 Kerry
Louise
Typical
female comedian bore, who's look & style is very
similar to the lovely Lynne Koplitz. Her routine is
painfully overacted and forced. She did have an
impressive bosom, and her nipples were rock hard
throughout her 3 minute set. I'm assuming she had
implants. Oh yeah, her husband is Tom Cotter (more on
him below)
Rating:
3
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 Eddie
Ifft
Ifft is
such a dirt bag looking comedian, it's great. He right
away mentioned how he resembles Clay Aiken which
garnered a cheap LOL from the crowd. Eddie then did a
hilarious routine about getting high in Amsterdam and
thinking he lost an imaginary baby. Ifft then went on
about how he has to live with his sister due to it
being so fucking expensive to live in NYC. Nothing
earth shattering material wise, but Eddie has a great
delivery & style.
Rating:
7
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 Tom
Cotter
Tom Cotter
took the stage and basically did the same exact
routine you can see in reruns of Premium Blend. His
whole shtick is all about being the clean cut white
fella that talks about shocking things like doing
cocaine. He also does the whole "white guy
speaking Ebonics" gag, and his ended his act by
picking apart every day terms we use. He also has that
Wendy Liebman style where he says silly shit after a
normal statement. Sadly, the crowd ate up his set and
he received a huge ovation.
Rating:
6
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 Dan
Naturman
Naturman
is someone who has been all over this site as of late,
due to the controversy over him being a hack or not.
Anyways, Dan seemed very nervous up onstage. His mouth
was going a mile a minute, ad he rushed through his
routines. Luckily he only blurted out the term
"Am I Right?" once. Most of his routine
consists about how he can't get laid. At the end of
his set, he was so flustered, he actually stumbled and
stood in silence for a precious few seconds. Luckily
he recovered and ended strong.
Rating:
6
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 Joseph
Scura (sp?)
Joseph is
your typical college comedian with a very laid back
and dull style about him. He is a young handsome devil
though, and his act will mature while he himself
matures. He covered typical topics like drinking,
drugs, etc. Most of his punch lines were very
predictable, stuff we've all seen before.
Rating:
4
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 Eddie
Safarty
Typical
gay hack. That's all. Terrible & predictable shit.
Rating:
2
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 Vanessa
Hollingshead
Vanessa is
one of the few female comedians I can tolerate. She
has great energy and is all over the stage. She does
dead on voice impressions and other physical gags that
you wouldn't expect to see from her. She tackled
topics like anorexic British supermodels, being raised
by drug addicted parents, and she talks about time she
spent living in London. Sadly, the crowd wasn't really
feeling her tonight.
Rating:
4
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 Tim
Young
I
really don't like Tim Young. He has this
slow & boring pace to his act where he
will often stare into space in between his
bits. He had to speed it up tonight, so it
was much more tolerable. His massive eyes
freak me out though. Tim did a bit about
breaking up with his cell phone company that
the crowd thoroughly enjoyed. That's all I
recall from him.
Rating:
5
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 Tony
Woods
Holy
shit! If Dave Chappelle had a
twin, it would be Tony Woods. Same
look, style, sound, & delivery
as Chappelle. He even talks about
smoking weed is his act. Good lord
it was surreal watching him
perform. He has an impressive
resume to his name, as he's been
all over very comedy show. Sadly,
he didn't make much of an impact
with his stoned style.
Rating:
5
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 Lisa
Landry
Awww,
isn't she adorable? Lisa is a tiny
soft spoken gal, with typically
awful wife material. The only good
thing about her is her keen
resemblance to former SNL star
Cheri Oteri. Other than that,
waste of time. She received a very
sparse reaction to her jokes. I
almost felt bad for her.. nah I
fucking loved it.
Rating:
2
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 Robert
Kelly
Robert
is a comedian I've never heard of
until tonight. He kind of looks
like a young Dom DeLouise with his
painter's cap & finely trimmed
goatee. He also has a thick Boston
accent and an upper body shaped
like protoplasm.
I'm
fucking with ya'll (I really am
silly). Robert delivered his usual
kick ass comedy which the crowd
loved. I was however irate when
the 2 faggot talent scouts spent
the entire time talking to one
another and not even acknowledging
him on stage. But he of course
managed to advance (OMG
SPOILERS++)
Rating:
8
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 Brett
Alan
Look
out Charlie Viracola, here comes
Brett Allen. Yes, Brett is a
typical middle aged stoner
comedian with the same look, style
& delivery as Viracola. It
comes as no surprise that Allen is
just as awful as Viracola is
Rating:
4
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 Marina
Franklin
Marina
is an angry young black woman who
commands the stage with her
"I'm a a fed up bitch"
style. Thankfully she picks on her
own race, and spares us from the
played out black & white
bullshit. She did a dead on
impression of a typically ignorant
black mother form Harlem. It was
hilarious to hear her say the word
"Muthafucka" about 12
times while the talent scouts
cringed. Would love to see that
full routine on NBC one day.
Rating:
5
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 Dan
Allen
Dan
is a rather tall fella who is easy
on the eyes. His opening joke was
hilarious. Dan apparently was on a
subway, where a black man asked
him if the Yankees had won . Dan
replied with "yes, you're
free." That had me howling,
but his act went downhill from
there. He followed up that gem by
doing a terrible poem about being
a bouillon cube. Ugh.
Rating:
5
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 Dante
Dante
is a big jacked up mother fucker
who looks like he can easily kill
anyone with his bare hands. I was
shocked when he grabbed the mic
though. His voice is rather high
and doesn't fit his look. He goes
on to talk about how everyone
thought he was the bouncer of the
club, and other jokes about his
intimidating physical appearance.
The rest of his set dealt with his
abusive father. Very solid
performance.
Rating:
6
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 Johnny
Lambert
A
wannabe Kevin James.
Bland jokes about
marriage, dealing with
the wife & kids,
etc. He did have a solid
routine about joining
the Big Brother &
Make-A-Wish Foundation.
Instead of helping out
the kids, he wanted to
be the one that gets
taken to ball games,
etc. Eh, I'm sure he's a
good guy, but his act
isn't all that memorable
Rating:
4
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 Dan
Ahdoot
Iranian
ethnic hack that the
crowd loved for some
reason. That's all I
have because I honestly
didn't pay much
attention during his
predictable crap.
Rating:
3
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 Carrie
Karavas
Good
lord, Carrie has an
amazing ass. Oh, and her
comedy is pretty solid
too. Nothing we haven't
heard from a female
comic though. She talked
about how she loves
shopping, and the silly
shenanigans she gets
herself into when doing
so. She was rather
dirty, and the crowd
loved it. I would gladly
pay her a week's
allowance for the chance
to have her straddle my
face while she does her
routine.
Rating:
6
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 Mike
Bochetti
You
all remember Mike from
last year's competition.
He made it to the NY
finals and many feel he
was snubbed at Carolines
that night. His delivery
is very odd &
gimmicky. He will say
his joke, hold the mic
with both hands, then
take a few steps &
gently mutter out a
"thank you".
He was fucking good
though. He talked about
how awful he looks, and
how his father used to
beat him up when he was
a wee lad. I definitely
plan on checking his act
out one day.
Rating:
6
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 Neal
Thornberg (sp?)
WORST
COMEDIAN OF THE NIGHT!
Wowee, this was fucking
brutal to watch. This
Paul Mecurio looking
hack got NO laughter
from his terrible
impressions of Chris
Rock & Cesar Romero.
Maybe if it was the
early 1990's his brand
of humor would be
appreciate. You could
hear drinks being served
as there was dead
silence. His 3 minutes
on stage felt like an
eternity.
Rating:
1
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 Shang
Shang
is very loud &
energetic. I would
compare him to a thugged
out Robert Kelly. He
opened up his 3 minutes
talking about lame ass
pick up lines and how
they never work. He
revealed a pick up line
that will get you laid 9
times out of 10.
"Bitch I got a gun,
get in the car!" I
fucking lost it - you'll
never see that joke on
NBC. He then talked
about how the
deteriorating ozone
layer will eventually
turn white people black,
complete with an
impression on how whites
will react. Top notch
shit
Rating:
7
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comedians later, the
fucking show was capped
off by a brutal 10
minute set from Dat Phan.
I plan on reviewing that
atrocity separately.
Let's just say all of my
fantasies came true.
The
field of 25 comics was
whittled down to 12. The
comedians who advanced
were Jessica Kirson, DC
Benny, Kerry Louise,
Eddie Ifft, Tom Cotter,
Dan Naturman, Tim Young,
Robert Kelly, Brett
Allen, Marina Franklin,
Dan Ahdoot, & Carrie
Karavas. All of them
were to head back to the
terrible Comic Strip
Live the next day as
they faced other
comedians who advanced
earlier on in the day.
Sadly,
our beloved Robert Kelly
didn't make the cut. But
he went down on his own
terms and managed to
bust the faggot talent
scouts chops all night
long. Check out this
thread on his own
forum where he posted
video of him being
eliminated, and a
picture of his newly
shaven head. Robert
apparently made a bet
with Matt Frost where he
told him he would make
the NYC finals.
That
about wraps it up .The
Comic Strip Live is a
shitty club that tries
to swindle you out of
money. The atmosphere
fucking blows. I know it
was a happening spot
back in the day, but now
it's just a dinosaur. I
would go more in depth
about it, but my fat
fingers are sore from
typing for the past 3
hours.
What
a long & boring
review this ended up
being. I promise to make
it all up to you when I
reveal the greatest
moment in CH history...
-Patrick
Photos
Courtesy of La Mott
Jackson
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