The booker
By Dustin Chafin
One of the most frustrating things in Standup Comedy is having to chase spots in NYC. This power trip can drive you crazy as a comedian. Some clubs have a straight approach you know where you stand and they also have a set structure of sending in avails.
The Comedy Cellar, Broadway Comedy Club, Comic Strip Live have set days you either email on a certain day or call in on a Sunday and get your avails for the week. With other clubs you’re not even sure if they want you to call or email them. It becomes this game of “please like me” and then we come off as annoying and stalkerish because people can't be honest or offer a structure that you can work into your weekly routine as a comic.
The sad part is those are the real comedy clubs I’m talking about, the other room around New York, the non-club rooms, those can be even worse. Colin Kane’s shows are run well and you know where you stand far as spots go. Then you have the young comic, who’s barley been doing standup, running a room and power tripping with the bad comedy shows they put together.
I was a booker for a long time. I ran the Boston Comedy Club (Now the Comedy Village) for 2 years, I had set avails and also made sure I was the low man on the totem pole. I always tried to book people I wanted to watch and learn from, and I didn't swap spots for spots but I put up comedians like Nick DiPaolo, Jim Norton, Dave Attell, Marc Maron and Patrice O’Neal. Getting booked on the weekend required a pretty solid resume. I also booked people that just knew how to bring it. Some of these guys had no credits but they got the laughs and were original. Mike Vecchione, Wil Sylvince and myself come to mind, haha.
I now consider myself a international headliner with credits and I still have to play this mind game with people in order to get spots. I just wish it would be about what you do on stage and the respect you have in the business. Unfortunately, it’s just not that way at all.
I remember when I passed at the Comic Strip, I was getting weekends before I had credits but I was doing well on stage and that seemed to matter. I guess unless you’re Dave Chappelle you have to play this “please like me I'm good game.” The Clubs are starting to book people that aren't bringing it and it makes a lot of professional comics want to hang ourselves in a comedy condo. When I was a booker I was honest.
I remember saying things to comics like: “I'm not a fan.” “Don't think you’re ready.” And my favorite, “You’re hacky.” Sometimes a fight would break out or heated debate. One time I felt Kurt Metzger wasn't ready for my weekends at the time and he threatened to beat the half Indian out me. That's one guy you don't want angry at you. I can say now that he's ready, but I was honest and I just feel as a booker you have that responsibility to the comedy community, to have an organized way of accepting avails and if you don't want to book us just fucking say so and we'll go somewhere else!
The Day The Comedy Died
Dustin Chafin rants about his experience while trying out for Last Comic Standing 4
By Dustin Chafin
Why I auditioned this year, I don't know. Desperation I guess. I just need some national face time so I can put more asses in the seats. I hate the show, the whole concept bastardizes comedy. Put a bunch of comics in a house - fuck that whole vibe. I felt like such a sell out for doing the audition.
Thursday night I'm working at Carolines, I opened for Gilbert Gottfried. It was a great show as I'm passed at the club. I feel like a real comic. Gilbert asked me to open for him on the road...I'm on top of my game...Feeling great. I met some line producers from the show, and they loved me. Then I met Anthony Clark, the soon to be host of the show. He liked me a little too much, if you know what I mean. He asked me for my number, but I think his idea of opening was a little different than mine. So I party with everyone, but In my head I'm like "this is a cake walk."
The next day I have a 2pm audition, which is stupid. Comedy at 2pm, with no audience? Yeah I can't wait. So I get there hang with a few comics I respect. Then It's my turn, as I run up on stage. I start to go into my act, but I'm not feeling it. I'm barely 40 seconds in, and these cocksuckers (Bob Read & Ross Mark) start talking to each other while I'm doing my act. I stop and ask what's up and they quickly reply with an "Ok thanks." I start to leave then this little thing called pride hits my tongue.
I ask the little one "Hey, have you ever done standup comedy?" He replies with a "No," and I tell him "Yeah I didn't think so."
I start to leave, then the fat one Ross, freaks out. "What does that mean? Do you know my comedy pedigree." I tell him "Yeah, you took the edge out of Jay Leno, and you brought us Dat Phan. Thanks!"
I left like a fucking rock star. The comics clapped, and I knew it wasn't the smartest move, but I had a Kinison-Hicks moment that I can live with. - three jokes, and the truth.
Rock out with your Cock out.