Did all of you enjoy the bullshit NBC has been feeding all of the us the past few weeks? They thought they would be shocking & come clean when the shit hit the fan concerning the Dan Naturman debacle. In "reality" they just fed us more lies. Go ahead & call me a conspiracy theorist, but I will now point out some suspicious occurrences that were broadcasted for the millions who tuned in.

Let's start with the editing. In the NY regional finals, the tryouts spanned 2 nights. NBC creatively edited the two nights together to make it seem like one night. On the show, they kept looping a shot of Robert Kelly & Dov Davidoff (who wasn't shown performing at all) standing next to each other with impatient looks on their faces. The truth is that looped shot we saw was actually taken while Bob Read & Ross Mark were reading the instructions on what to do if a comedian was chosen on the 2nd & final night. What really happened was that comedian Kevin Brown was chosen last and was never seen until his set at The Hudson Theatre. Why would NBC cut out him being announced? Maybe because our beloved Robert Kelly cursed & shouted as soon as he found out he wasn't advancing. There is footage of this floating around the internet, but I have no clue where one can donwload it.

Now I know that little bit of editing might seem insignificant, but here's another tale of how shady NBC is. At the quarterfinals filmed at the Hudson Theatre in NYC, everyone in attendance watched Sue Costello bomb horribly to complete silence. Yet on the final televised product, she received a good reaction from the crowd. The lovely Sharon Houston received a better reaction at the theatre than Costello did, but on TV she was shown going down in flames. After her set ended, Sharon, on camera, admitted it didn't go so well. "I think commenting on it was a mistake because that's what ended up being my storyline," says Houston in s statement sent to the site. "I wish they hadn't edited out every single punch line and made it look worse than it was. Then again, it was a true depiction of how a comic can have a great night one night and a shit one the next. And you have no choice but to keep on going, get back on stage, and let it go. Rick Kunkler also commented that he didn't have a good set so that became his storyline as well."

I guess Costello was something the producers had in mind, or she's connected with someone who is heavily involved with the show. NBC also edited Kerri Louise's set to make her come off much better than her performance. Maybe they were looking for a cutesy Mother of twins story line, even though her act is weaker than Nancy Reagan's posture.

Let's quickly move to the Vegas finals & talk about DC Benny. Everyone who's into the NYC comedy scene knows that DC is one of the top performers out there. DC & LCS 2 Executive Producer Barry Katz had a huge falling out years ago. If DC was still buddies with Barry, maybe it would have been edited to look like he killed.

NBC also did tons of dishonest editing at the Vegas finals. Check out this great article featuring an eyewitness account, courtesy of Reality News Online:

http://www.realitynewsonline.com/cgi-bin/ae.pl?mode=1&article=article0016.art&page=1

Now let's get to Jim Norton. NBC booted him due to their bullshit contractual stipulations. Although everything with Norton's dismissal seems justified & legit (read his blog), NBC pretty much made a performer sell their soul to them. "I was out to early too be of any real use, though i did have the surreal, Kafka-esque experience of reading the LCS contract," states comedian Dov Davidoff. "This contract was basically a carbon copy of the one given to early 19th century Africans upon arrival in South Carolina."

Dov refused to sign it, and that's why he wasn't shown performing - even though he made it past the first night in the NYC regionals.

Steve Byrne had a slight conflict of interest with his performance schedule and was given an ultimatum. "I dropped out of the contest when I had a college (show) scheduled on the same day as a cocktail party they were throwing for everyone. I told them, I'll be there for a rehearsal, an interview and of course the show, but I needed to do this college because it pays the rent. My bills don't stop due to NBC pulling into town. They said its one or the other, you can be a part of a national prime time TV show or a college in MA. I went to Mass..."

Why would NBC prevent Byrne from entering just because he couldn't attend a cocktail party? Now I know one of you jerk offs are going to email me & point out that Byrne's agent is Barry Katz, but obviously Byrne wasn't what the producers were looking for. Forget the fact that he is truly hilarious and is an up & comer in the world of standup. Guess they didn't want another Asian after the Dat Phan disgrace from season one.

Byrne also tells CH about how Bob Read & Ross Mark tried stirring up drama between the contestants: "My roommate and I were both in the semi-finals. I was interviewed in the morning, he was in the afternoon. When he went in, they asked him on camera what he thought of the fact that I said of all the NY comics that auditioned, I was surprised he made it this far. Which is bullshit and he knew and called them out on it."

Read & Mark apparently also love creating characters for the "reality" show. Do you all remember the hideous Buck Star? He was the tool who went to every city of the regional tryouts whom Read & Mark ripped apart before he was able to finish his first joke. From what I hear, Buck Star is actually a Production Assistant that NBC used to film remotes. That's right! Buck didn't travel all over the country to try out, he was on the payroll doing his job! NBC wanted to create a William Hung type of character (the Dat Phan of American Idol) and decided Buck would be the perfect candidate. They gave Buck a bullshit angle with his father, a joke from Rich Vos, and when he was finally given stage time all he talked about was stalking Read & Mark.

Also, check out this article that explains how NBC hired wacky actors to try out in the LA regionals:

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/04074/284877.stm

Now let's finally get to the Naturman debacle. Anyone who visits this site on a regular basis knows we aren't big fans of Dan Naturman. I will give him credit, he simply KILLED at the Vegas finals and deserved to be one of the 10 to make the house.

Peter Engel told Drew Carey backstage there were 4 off air judges, something us viewers never knew about until that very moment. Jay Mohr has been all over the press stating that the 4 "talent scouts" only came up with 7 finalists and that NBC had to choose the last 3. Yet NBC chose not to pick Dan Naturman or Jim Wiggins, both of whom were apparently chosen by 3 of the 4 the scouts. NBC has yet to disclose who the 4 scouts chose.

Who did NBC choose? Odds are Gary Gulman & Ant, who we all know are repped by Barry Katz. I am guessing the last pick was Bonnie McFarlane who is romantically linked to Rich Vos. No offense to Vos, but I doubt he has enough pull to get someone into the house.

Mohr is also stating that he & Katz weren't allowed into the meeting when the 10 finalists were chosen. Did anyone else notice Barry standing in the background while Engel & Carey discussed the bullshit? I am sure he had some influence...

Mohr has also claimed that the execs made their choices based on the comedians performances throughout the entire process, stemming from the regionals. This pretty much debunks the entire concept of a competition. If a performer bombs during one of the stages, then why advance them? Did the performers know about this beforehand? I am sure some of them would have liked the option of having an off night during the stretch.

Since NBC has no interest in a performer's true comedic ability, then why not just cast their 10 "characters" instead of fabricating a nation wide competition? Do like MTV does with The Real World - have the wannabes send in tapes, or in a comedian's case, have their agents/managers lobby to get them on the show. Maybe have a competition where comedians vie for representation from Barry Katz, who will then put them on Last Comic Standing.

"No one should call themselves 'losers' for not making it. In this case they should be called 'strangers who didn't know any of the executive producers to get in," states one of the regional finalists whose name will not be credited here due to a confidentiality clause NBC enforced.

I sincerely feel terrible for all the comedians who tried out, thinking they had an honest shot. Getting their hopes up for their big break, when in reality they had no chance. People like Robert Martinez in San Francisco. Martinez made the mistake of camping out in front of the Punchline at 2 AM in the morning and not getting his chance to impress Read & Mark until 12 hours later. "I went in and did my set. The judges didn't even look at me while I was on stage. They fiddled with papers and I knew that they dismissed me before I said a word. When I finished, they said that my act was 'very good and original, and that they had never heard material similar to mine.' However, I wasn't right for the show. I wasn't what they were looking for."

Martinez continues: "I was pretty pissed off by the process. I wish I hadn't wasted my time and slept out there. It would be one thing to have sucked or have been told that my material or delivery wasn't good. I could have accepted that. But to be complimented and then turned away when they say they are looking for new talent and the BEST comedian sucks. I wish they would have said, ok we're looking for people to fit these roles and stereotypes."

I am sure each city has their own Robert Martinez. I remember going to the first night of the NYC regionals and seeing hopefuls bundled in blankets, sitting on the freezing sidewalk. These poor people waited overnight, thinking they had a legitimate shot at fame.

Perhaps I am bitter because the comedians I favor didn't make it into the house. But then again, this site is catered to truly funny comedians who don't rely on characters or fill a stereotypical demographic.

Silly me for expecting "The Search For The Funniest Person In America" to take place.

Here are some other tidbits I want to share that didn't quite fit in with the above piece:

- Gary Gulman & Bert Kreischer both live & perform in Los Angeles, yet they were dispatched to other cities when it came to the regionals. Both men have Barry Katz as their agent. Jim Norton snuck into the Tampa regional, but he explained in his blog that he had a headlining gig in Dallas that conflicted with the NYC tryouts. I doubt that Gulman & Kreischer were headlining any clubs when the LA tryouts occurred. Looks like Katz sent them out to the weaker cities, also having Gulman perform in front of his hometown audience in Boston.

- Corey Holcomb figured he would make it into the house by playing cruel practical jokes on the other competitors. One of his victims was Vladimir Khlynin, the 19 year old Russian kid who has been a comedian for just 8 months. From what I hear, Holcomb arranged a mugging of Vladimir a few blocks from the hotel where the comedians stayed. Vladimir was forced to run 5 blocks without his shoes in the freezing cold, waving down a cop for help. Vladimir was filmed the entire time during the robbery by NBC, unbeknownst to him. Holcomb realized he crossed the line and tried to make good. We all watched Corey embrace Khlynin after he was eliminated at the Hudson Theatre...now we know why.

- On the official Last Comic Standing 2 website, Dave Mordal had a section titled "Dave M's Rants," where he would pick apart whatever he didn't like from each episode. In the first installment, Mordal attacked Ant for not writing any new jokes since last year. A few days later, that paragraph disappeared...guess you can't tell the truth about one of Katz's clients. Mordal also praised Jim Wiggins in the same piece. Wiggins didn't make the finals, and Mordal's column has since been removed.

I'm begging you all not to watch the remainder of the season. If you want to find out who makes the final 5, snoop around the Cringe Humor Forum for spoilers (which have been dead on thus far.)

As for me, I predict Gary Gulman to win it all. He's Barry Katz's pet, the ladies love him, and he fits the sitcom father mold. He's challenged the most out of all the comedians in the house, and that will garner some sympathy votes from the American Public. That is if the fucking voting isn't rigged too.

Here's a pic of me (doing the Bob Dole pose & looking awful in my loud shirt) with your probable LCS 2 Winner, Gary Gulman:

The above views should not reflect upon any of the comedians/performers mentioned. This is all information I have gathered over the past few weeks, and I myself have based theories upon them.

Once again, if you are a comedian, and have any stories you'd like to share about your experience, please send them in to CH. We will respect your anonymity if need be.

- Patrick

<<Click here to read part 2

Visit this site for more LCS 2 Articles:

Sir Links A Lot